Releasing Samskaars

Letting go of old stories

What’s a samskaar?

Samskaars (संस्कार) are described by ancient Hindu philosophers as mental impressions or psychological imprints on our subconscious. Say for example you dated someone with a red truck when you were younger that you really loved, and you got broken up with. It could be months or even years later, and you see a red truck on the highway. What happens? Your heart leaps and there’s a physiological response in your body. That’s because a samskaar has formed in your subconscious around that particular event, feeling, or person.

Why do I want to release them?

The problem with samskaars is that instead of perceiving and being present in reality with a person, situation, or feeling, you are entirely in your head. Instead of reacting to what is happening in the moment, you are reacting to the remnants of an old memory. Samskaars bring us into past, often made-up versions of events that make us feel reactive, even when nothing may be happening in the present.

I’ll give you an example from my own life. Several months ago, I had a conversation with a friend, and I felt self-conscious and awkward about the way I was interacting with them. After the conversation, I ruminated and thought about everything I could’ve said differently, how I could’ve acted differently, and made up a whole story in my head about how this friend probably hated me and didn’t want to be friends anymore. Now every time I see them on social media, I feel a sense of shame, regret, and frustration with myself. That reaction isn’t a reaction to my friend, but rather the lasting impression, or samskaar, I created around this event.

When I see that friend on social media now and feel a cringey feeling, it’s not them I’m seeing, it’s the psychological impression of my own perceived awkwardness during our conversation I’m seeing. “Why can’t I make friends? Why am I so stupid?” ask the voices in my head in reaction. These are all reactions to my own perceived impression of the past, and they definitely don’t serve me anymore.

So how do I release a samskaar?

That’s just it– you release it and let it go. If that sounds simple, it’s because it is. Rather than allowing our charged past impressions to drive our daily actions and reactions, we can choose to recognize that reality is likely far more neutral than we have made it to be. We can choose to let go of the power we have given the samskaars to repeatedly show up and run our lives.

What I like to do once I identify a samskaar is to take a deep breath in and feel into it. Allow the cringe, the anger, the shame, the negative self-talk, all the icky feelings to flow through me. I allow it to reach a bit of a peak, and after a moment, I exhale and release– allowing all the feelings and emotions and memories to flow out and away into the earth. Sometimes, I even imagine sitting in the ocean and allowing each wave to gently wash away all the old feelings.

I did this recently with my samskaar around that friend, and I feel so much lighter. I trust that now, seeing that friend on social media will no longer be seeing my own issues, but simply seeing that friend for who they are.

This is a practice I’ve cultivated over many months now, and now whenever I feel that cringey feeling, I reach out to it, feel into it, and let it go. That way, my old stories aren’t running my life, and I can make decisions from a more grounded, present place.

Hope this helps, friend. Sending you love today 💜